Values Clarification Worksheet: What Actually Matters to You

A lot of stuck, directionless feelings come from chasing goals that were never really yours — a career path, a body type, a lifestyle you inherited from family expectations or comparison rather than chose. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) treats values differently from goals: a goal is something you finish, a value is a direction you keep walking in. This worksheet is about finding the direction.

How to use it

Work through each life domain below. For each one, write:

1. What actually matters to you here — not what should matter, not what would impress anyone. If you’re unsure, try finishing the sentence “In this area of my life, I want to be someone who…”
2. One small action this week that moves toward it, even slightly.

Domains to reflect on:

• Relationships (family, friendship, romantic)
• Work / career
• Personal growth and learning
• Health and physical wellbeing
• Leisure and recreation
• Community and contribution

A quick way to tell a value from a should

Ask: if no one ever found out, would I still want this? A value survives that question. An inherited expectation usually doesn’t. Neither answer is wrong — but it’s worth knowing which one you’re actually looking at before you spend years chasing it.

Why this matters more than goal-setting

Goals can be reached and then leave you flat (“now what?”), because a finished goal doesn’t tell you what to do next. A value doesn’t get “finished” — it’s always available to act on, in ways big or small, which is what makes it a more reliable compass during periods when big goals feel out of reach.

Download the full worksheet below — it has space for all six domains plus a monthly check-in page to revisit as your answers evolve.